Harriet Dyer was born in 1867 to an otter collector called Maurice and a bobsleigh polisher called Mandy. They were very pleased to see her and she liked the cut of their jib.
They all ran away to sea in a beautiful pea green boat and lived on musty kumquats and pork gelatin. Due to the lack of nutrients in said diet their teeth eventually fell out - All was okay in the end though because it just so happened to be Maurice and Mandy's ivory wedding anniversary so Maurice crafted a necklace for his beloved out of their rotten teeth.
Rotten to some people can mean opportunity to others.
From the moment she saw the twinkle in Maurice's eye Harriet knew she'd grow up to be a lactose intolerant astronaut so she milked some cows and went on her way. Unfortunately she didn't get very far because she was still on a beautiful pea green boat and it was starting to sink due to general wear and tear.
The location at this time of life was the Cornish riviera or as the porccupines called it, "A puddle at the bottom of the shed." Luckily Harriet was blessed with extendable giraffe legs (Maurice and Mandy had a mishap at the zoo) so she extended her legs up to Blackpool and beyond. Eventually she reached intergalactic planetary planetary intergalactic... lands. Feeling happy but bewildered she supped from a spacecows teat and was instantly violently sick.
It was then she knew that even the most ridiculous of dreams can one day become reality.
You can follow Harriet on Twitter @Dyerlinquent
“Dyer exists in a joyful equilibrium, at the point where self-depreciation and a total embracement of oddness meet in utterly likeable harmony… Beautifully, brilliantly weird… Absolutely worth a watch” Broadway Baby
"Dyer made the audience feel at home and managed to wow the crowd… Loveable and delightful" Three Weeks
"She's got funny bones!" Kevin Bridges
"Like a gangly Baby giraffe Harriet Dyer ambles on stage and precedes to bemuse her audience to the point of wetting their collective knickers. Odd. Brilliant" Flock comedy